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That Cold Splash of Reality

Columbus Dispatch
By Marshall Hood
April 23, 2003

Real world survival tips

Once you've tossed your mortar board into the air, welcome to the real world. Here is some advice from life after school. explained. for making the transition a little easier.

SURVIVING THE BUSINESS LUNCH

* Once you're seated, do not pick up the menu. Remember: This is not a pie-eating contest. Talk to those around you. You will be fed. Once (the boss) picks up his or her menu, you can start looking at all your free choices.

MOVING

* One of the most important things you can do before (moving) is to tell people that you're looking for an apartment. Tell anyone and everyone you know. You'd be amazed at how many apartments never make it to the rental market.

MASTERING THE W-4

* Many people always put down a zero because they like to get back a refund at the end of the year. . . This is the worst idea in the world and actually causes government officials to mock and scoff your W-4 form.

UNDERSTANDING INSURANCE

* A PPO (preferred provider organization) is more expensive than an HMO (health maintenance organization) but is more flexible, because it allows members to see any doctor or specialist without a referral.

* If your employer does not offer health insurance for your first three months on the job, you can get short-term coverage for up to six months. The premiums are usually cheaper than normal health insurance . . . (and) the provider will usually not ask as many questions about your health.

INVESTING

* Savings accounts are like Milli Vanilli: Once you get past the surface, they really don't do much. Here's why: Savings accounts pay squat.

* Money-market funds usually pay a higher interest rate than savings accounts and CDs. You may not be able to use an ATM to get your money, but many funds allow you to zap it into your checking account for no fee in a day's time.

DRESSING FOR WORK

* Buy most of your wardrobe after your first day of work. Wait and see what your colleagues are wearing. Then, you'll own work clothes that you actually want to wear to work.

* Always wear pantyhose. Nobody knows why, but it's part of the job. Remember to bring an extra pair to work in case of a run.

Three days after graduating from Ohio State University, the 23-year-old was sitting in the human-resources office of her new employer -- her head spinning at a bewildering array of papers.

She faced forms for declaring tax-withholding exemptions, choosing a health-care plan, designating insurance beneficiaries . . . blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

''All those forms. I had no clue. I'm thinking, 'Oh, God, can I call my dad?' '' said Katie Baioni, recalling with a laugh her first day on the job at the Limited's Express division.

The Euclid, Ohio, native with a degree in creative writing minted in December 2001 entered the world of the worker bee last year. The transition from ivy-covered walls to corporate cubicle, she said, has been ''a shocker'' -- a jolt felt by thousands of graduating seniors each year.

''In college, you take so many things for granted. It's like an imaginary land of students and term papers,'' Baioni said. ''But it's a panic-attack moment when you graduate. Now, I have to start paying for things. The student loans start. The bills start coming.''

With a pause and a sigh, she added: ''There are so many things to learn in the real world.''

Jesse Vickey has been there and done that. He's turned the experience into a quirky primer geared to new grads in transition from college to real world.

At the ripe age of 28, Vickey and his colleagues -- wife Nicole, 25, and Andy Ferguson, 25, a former Toledo schoolteacher and stand-up comic -- are the authors of life after school. explained. (Cap and Compass, $12.95).

The advice is based on their own post-college experiences -- and horrors -- and information gleaned from experts in finance, investments, housing, etiquette and the like.

Among the bewilderments they unravel:

* ''W4401kHMO: Translating Day 1 at Work'' (filling out all those forms in the human-resources office).

* ''Getting Your Apartment'' (finding a place and interpreting and negotiating a lease).

* ''Avoid Looking Stupid at Dinner'' (the art of the business lunch and dinner).

* ''The Least You Need To Know About Taxes'' (how to deduct expenses for student loans, moving expenses, etc.).

''Colleges are responsible for helping you get a job, but it's not their responsibility to teach 'the other things.' That's usually left to friends, family and trial and error,'' Vickey said from his home in Branford, Conn.

Among those ''other things'' are ''financial literacy'' -- a subject that Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan advocates being taught as early as elementary school to help young people avoid financial pitfalls.

''An understanding of how to maintain a checking and savings account at a local financial institution may have been sufficient 25 years ago,'' he said recently.

''Today's consumers, however, must be able to differentiate between a wide range of products, services and providers of financial products to successfully manage their personal finances. Certainly, young adults have access to credit at a much earlier age than their parents did.''

An English degree from Ohio University helped Nikki Klemmer, 22, land a public-relations job last year with the Girl Scout Seal of Ohio Council, but her course of study didn't include ''How To Rent an Apartment.''

''I'm not that great at leases. I lived in an apartment and a house at OU, but it was kind of a group effort,'' said Klemmer, who lives with her parents in Dublin.

''When it comes time for me to sign a lease, I'll have my mom or dad come with me.

''I did my own taxes this year, but it was the 1040EZ form. I'm not looking forward to next year,'' she said. ''And I know I need to look into investments. I was thinking about CDs. Now, everything I have is in savings.

''You're making me think about all these adult things,'' Klemmer said with a laugh.

Vickey himself could have used a course of Life Skills 101 before graduating from Duke University in 1997 and becoming a Wall Street trader. As with Baioni, befuddlement set in at his company's human-resources office.

''I was an economics major. I knew about supply and demand curves, but I didn't know how to pick an HMO,'' he said. ''And the W-4 (tax-withholding) form? Do I put 1, 2 or 0 in the box?''

Then came the social flub while dining with his new boss and colleagues. When the waiter arrived, Vickey ordered first -- a glass of wine. Everyone who followed ordered club soda -- and glared at the new kid on the corporate block.

''I quickly realized there are life skills nobody explained in the classroom. Topics like 401(k)s, HMOs, taxes, mutual funds, dinner etiquette and leases were never taught in school,'' Vickey said.

''I had talked with other friends who echoed the same issues.''

Leaving Wall Street after two years, he and his wife founded Cap and Compass seminars. Issues raised during the seminars -- some 60 held on college campuses -- became the basis for the book.

While much of the advice centers on money and finance, Vickey said that new grads often need a heads-up in their social skills.

''What was acceptable a couple of months ago (in college),'' he tells them, ''is not acceptable now. You gained points acting like an idiot then, but you lose them in the real world.''

 
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